Thursday, October 30, 2003

FUCK THE CONCEPT BLOG!!!!
Well im here boys and girls and oh yes...no concept blog tonight no, just pure skillage!
Where to start well, im on half term at the mo and thats about it really the only reason im typing is due to public demand...i know, some sad, gym sock abusing wierdoes Zinderz and The Roff acctually read dis. So whats been up, well...
Worked 9.30-3.30 acctually 9.30-5, ffs how long is that beatches! But i did work a large portion of that time with...as some may call her (nob sucks...basically ROFFEY!) Tanjit. Man shes soo hot its like "What i go to work for"... Busted are gay. Well anyways i txt her and for once...i didnt pull all of that shitty, kind of ireally like you, flower fkin crap!
Oh yeah!!! But shes in South of France and i'm waiting for a reply some day...not a good feeling but ya never know, could be quids in..lol...yeah right!
Well i went to Exeter yesturday bought some Atticus t-shirts quite pleased that i didnt have to order from, shitty next dayfucking year delivery Attitude clothing. Took them SIX, i shit you not, SIX FFS-ing months to deliver my Macbeth Shoes.
Also the new Blink-182 album is out a week Monday promises to be awesome...if you've heard the new track ("Feeling This") you'd know what i mean...but at the re-emergence of Blink and the new greater beats of Travis Barker i have just learned that there will not be another Box Car Racer album due to the fact that it nearly tore Blink-182 apart last time, due to shitty differences, yada, yada, bullshit, yada...you get the idea!
Okay what else i think i may steal Jezzes idea, simply because the side bar, info shit seems quite a good idea...so big up, and repect due. Well thats about it so...COMMENT MOTHER FUCKERS!!!

Thursday, October 23, 2003

Concept Blog:#000002 Vol.1
Tonights rough concept...Pigs Flying : Idea supplied by The Roffman.

Well where to start...Pigs...Flying is like...GOTIT! Since the dawn of time man has yarned to fly like the humble, succulant pig...but t'was never ment to be my friend...oh no, never, ment, to, be! Indeed man had been delt a hard blow in his quest for flight, and the last thing they wanted to see, were these fat, bloated, shit staind, goat eating, bitch-ass mofoes flying over head oinking cockily...wankers! I mean, tbh God was being a bit of a favouritist towards pigs, he may have claimed to have created all men equal, but he didn't say anything about pigs in the bible did he?! Oh no0O! Rather than condeming all of their sins or judging them, he just said "Right you smelly fat inertiatic lumps! I've just iven you wings...go forth and use them to their full potential." I believe that this was because he couldn't be bothered to punish sins so he just got the pigs to plant big, fat, wanging shites on the sinners of the world...blatant racism.
Well that's tonights concept delt with...well if you could imaging pigs flying...oinking in you face...rubbing it in...YOU FAT STINKING SHIT GET BACK HERE SO I CAN MINCE YOU INTO BACON!!! Ummm on the subject of bacon...canadian bacon that is...The Jezzter has informed me why JT hates me...when asked "Why do you hate Cookie?" he replied " 'Cus he's a twat."
"Whys that?", Zinderz enquired.
"Because he's annoying[?!]"
Whoa, whoa hold up there big guy...fair enough he can say i'm a twat but annoying[!] lets just see how annoying i have been to him...ummmm...well considering i've barely said 20/30 words to him since he arrived in the country...not very tbf. So i have come to the conclusion he is being, he is a twat...tbf, tbh, tbh, tbf.
Also any concepts you want written about to prove that you are infact the quickest monkey in the cage...post them on the messege board.

NOW THAT'S THE HIT OF THE WHOLE FRUIT!

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Ladies, Gentlemen, Massies...and Smeddles: I present to you, my gift to the blogging world...THE CONCEPT BLOG!
Todays concept will be the word "Mofo", and t'was kindly supplied by Jezz-man. So here we go...

The Urban Dictionary Defines "mofo as:

Short term for motherfucker
Example:
Damn, that mofo is stealing the bank. Where are the shithead cocksucking police dicks!?!?!?

My definition however would be:

"Mo-FOE":noun, verb, adjective
An abreaviation of the term mother fuck/fucker.
Examples:
Noun:"Yo, look at that mofo up in herre, aaaiiiiiIII!"
Verb:"Yo, aaiiiite, i'm gunna mofo up yo ass, beatch!"
Adjective:"Yo, hoe! I'm gunna beat chur ass like a mofo possesed!"
Note: can also be used multiple times in a sentence, for gangster-position-emphasis...ummmm...
Example:"Wud'up beeatches, i'm pimpin' like a mofo possessed, up en herre, aiiite! HEY! HOE! IF Y'ALL DON'T SHUT DA FUUUK UP, I'LL SHOW YA HOW MY PIMPIN' HAND IS RELLE STRONG, BY BEATIN' THE MOFO OUTTA YO FACE HOE, AAAIIITE! SWEET MO-OF-FO BEATCH! GET UP IN DERRE AND MAKE ME SOME PIES!"
Shit i know but it's a concept and i never have a set concept but trust me this is the new shit.

In other news...we played Edgehill today at the ol' hole itself, and the emplied result was, indeed, the final result. 24-7...oooo0000OOOOyeah, and as if that wasn't enough of an insult to the guys there, Stephan and Rowan then proceeded to chat with there, girls [hmmm, they're not that bad], also i still haven't discovered why JT the canadian hates me, i acctually asked him after the match and he just ingnored me eventhough i was speaking to his face...i used to think he was alright but he's coming across as quite a bit of a nob tbf, maybe i did laugh at him when he was sizing me up, but i thought he was fkin' around...so lets recap JT tbh being a bit of a nob and Edgehill being beaten, and the birth of the concept blog.
Cheerz...don' be too brutal!

Monday, October 20, 2003

yo, boys and girls after seeing him revert back to the old school style of gangsta i'd like to introduce the second guitarist in our band Pimpin' X (my good friend and holder of "TheVerve" Roffster).
I stand before you a pleased man. My necks a lot better, finished all my english course work, match against Edgehill on Wed...a dicking for them then and a bit of ownage for us i guess...ooo000OOOYEAHMOFOES! The aforementoned 'X will get a try i recon 'cus...hes got the power at the mo' tbf, one hardcore mofo. He's growin' inta dis, y'all know...shootin' his game a little, but i digress not much going down except a massive lack of geography coursework and the like but oh well aint d end of da world i guess. Also i believe that a bit of musical mayhem may be going down tomorrow so be at du drum room if u wanna listen. [It's me with my decent cymbols and Roffman with his big amp and effects practicing for North-Devon(lol, got it in one)...ear plugs essential]
Well im a lil' bit tired and i couldn't find the picture i wanted for Roffman but what eva.
Laterz Wankstas!

Sunday, October 19, 2003

Well Blaine made it but a question still remains...what was the fking point. Except trying to prove he's as good as Jesus or something, i dunno...what y'all tink?
We played Plymouth on sunday, i played for the Colts for 20 minutes then went on for the firsts, where instead of being twice as big as me they were maybe three times. I wasn't expecting it but i fked my neck up, which put a big, fat, steamy shit on that evenings plans. I had 4 passes for free goes on rides at the local fair so that was off seeing as by the evening i could barely even turn my head...ffs!
But did get a chance to watch that crucial England match against the "springbitches/boks".
Half term this coming week so a chance for me to do even less work than normal, by going back to work in, u gessed it, Da Brasserie, the boy is back for mo' money...and to hang around all day with some hot girls it has to be said.
Well i got some other shee'ite to be doing so to all y'all playa haters out dere, lick my nine cus im a mutha fkin' P.I.M.P.!

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Wud'up!
So howz shit boys and girls...mines alrite at the mo surprisingly. well after my last post u may all be aware of some harsh criticism so for all that critics out there...LICK MY NINE! i'll admit the post was half assed but do u think i care about ur freaking oppinion but anyways i digress.
LOL at everyone who went to see The Trills tonite, because tbf, they are possibly the shitiest, most un-charizmatic band ever. I mean lets see...The Darkness, or The Thrills...ummm fkoff! God, they put as much effort into music as AB does into english tbf. Well it's the truth...The (Dick)-Stroke-(r)-s and all, they suck major league.
Hoprfully on Saturday night or Sunday i'll have some rugby results and what-have-you, so until then...oh wait don't forget that crucial England-South-Africa match on Saturday, it'll be awesome no doubt.
Cheerz!

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Ladies and Gents tonite i would like to share no wait, i wont lie...basically tonite cannot really be fked to do a long, eventful post...as usual it seem. i will instead give u an extract from my english coursework entitled: "Snowflakes of New York" (the uncut version)
Here it is, it is a short story and if you ask the writer..myself i will happily give , sell you a copy.
If i see a decent response i will give you all something truley glorious, but until them here goes:

The younger and the obvious lackey of the two answered, “Yes all ten mil is here in the cases. If you grab that other briefcase we can go”
“Fine, let’s get the hell out of here.”
Before I had even looked at Miles we were already half way up that staircase, when we got out of the door knowing no better options we hid either side of the red door awaiting the shooters arrival. As we waited it suddenly struck me that if we had been on time we would now, like Smithy, be lying in a pool of our own, lead poisoned blood…it scared the hell out of me. I could now hear the Latinos ascent, I cast a glance to Miles, he was ready to kill.
The first man emerged, quite large; I had imagined him to be the guy in charge. He saw me out of the corner of his eye and turned…I was the last person he ever saw as Miles rattled off a shot into the back of the mans head, time seemed to stand still as the guy fell to his knees, blood and brain fluid trickling from his new orifice. His body, like the frosty grass crumpled and left a mark just as vivid, I was lost in the dead mans gaze as Miles emptied the remainder of his ammo into the body…Smithy was his brother-in law. He looked as if he hated and savored each shot in equal measure, but his revenge was short lived as the other South Americans’ gun gave birth to the bullet that split through Miles’ lungs and stopped his breathing. I felt another surge…“I could be next!”
He didn’t notice me at first until I pulled the trigger… “SHIT!” I cried out, my gun had jammed in the cold weather; before he could turn around I tackled him. He dropped his gun and it slid across the icy tarmac until it was halted by Miles’ now paling corpse.

Monday, October 13, 2003

Well it is i...The Cookster! So hows my crue out there? well as of so far dis week sheeeet has happened. But something that has hung over me, Zinderz and everyone we told about it was "American History X" and the now infamous "curb scene", muck fe, jesus christ it is so harsh!!! Basically a racist white guy has shot a black man (he is still quite painfully allive), he then proceeds to say something along the lines of "Im gunna teach u a lesson niggar, put ur jaw on the curb and bite it." The black man proceeds to do so...at which point the white man runs up and stamps on his head!!! ffs, u hear the loadest crack of tooth against pavement ever!!!
Lets swiftly move on friends as just thinking about it makes me spasm with some kind of sickening feeling. Well there's not much left to say really, except the countdaowns really:
My Custom Drum: at least 11 weeks and counting!
Miss Cara Hymans Birthday:ummm...5 days.
Same for the crucial England Rugger match against South-Africa.
Countdown to Muse Errrrr...44 days..i think!(?)
Jesus' Birthday:...errrr...no need for that just yet im not a bleeding super market.
Well im bord of this sheeet for tonite so ill catch y'all soon!
P.S. Don't go to jaws-the-[gay]man.blogspot.com simply because hes like a hate crime promoter...i said it once, ill say it again...Where is the love? (N.B. why is that freaking crap eyed peas track still number1...ffs!)

Sunday, October 12, 2003

Yo Fello MUTHA FKERS FROM HELL!!!
Well a few of you had picked up on the fact that there hasn't been a post for a while...well at least people read this shite.
So i apologize because i haven't been able to use the internet, but where to start we had a match on saturday against truro college and lost but that aint important we learnt a hard lesson in not tackling people...but tbf they were a well drilled side and they deserved to win. Today has been a shitty affair for the most part i have done a biology project over today, french coursework and statistics, chemistry, and english homework and have some how found time to watch Wales dick on Canadia, Scotland show a pathetic display against Japan and just a slight, yeah right, bit of ownage by England..i mean 86 fking 6, tbf tbf tbh tbf...FKING AWESOME. So the biology is printing off right now...A grade material i tinks.
Well as you all probably know the shittiest webshite around has gone online...Olly Ryan has been bigging up his s(h)ite for ages saying it's hilarious..no "The Legend", or Ed, or Smeddle (just for sheer laughability), at a stretch Zinderz, these, at times are filled with mind-numbing hilarity, yours is just racist and promoting inter-racial-hatred...and is basically crap. where is the love man, where is the love.
Catch ya later!

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Well just keeping it real and braking up an I.T. "theory" lesson...but i'll extend this later in the week, but check out the like on my name at the bottom, check out "The Jawz" webshite...and check out Sam Grahams new website!
Like i said keepin' it real!

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Basically...bord shitless...sooo im gunna nick jezzas idea and im just gunna poke fun at some pictures.
Speaking of the man...here is a vintage snap of him looking, well...looking like son of corry or maybe someone shoved a rod up his ass.
Jesus! Look at that shine, he must do a hella lot of polishing!
Mr. Warner...looking quite the sly bastard.
Its Barnsey...but wait! Oh no the rod shover has struck again, but after questioning the man in the back-ground we still were no closer to the culprit.
Ahhh the cricketers after another success...ful defeat.
"Hehehe...someone shoved a rod up that guys ass."OMG, Ladies and Gents...The Human, Horse!!!
This mystery rodder is sick, even animals,ffs, will it never end!!!
Could this be the culprit...no...far too incompitant.
Hmmm i think we're on the write trail guys...you though Mr. Warner was shifty, this is a whole new levels mofos, some people also seem to be eye balling Rachel Sinden, a crime in itself...but thats not the priority, we cannot let "The Rodder Of Sheb" do it again.
Well we didnt let it happen again, here is the purpitrater, the only guy who gets close enough to other guys for something as isidious as this , note the shadiness, "hardman" persona and dark eyes...a classic example of a serial ass rodder...yeah mutha fk!
Can no longer be arsed with this, for all of the featured pictures plus even more check out Wills' Photo Shack.
And there you have it, a bit of bloggage from nothing what so ever...now, try it yourself.

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

Wud up! Yo guy who plays hooker for Holsworthey Community College...suck my dick!
Tbf it had to be said.
OK folks the low-down is that we played the aforementioned shit hole at rugby today...and my, oh my lads...you guys sucked some serious ass! I mean for starters if your gunna start a fight lads dont start crying...you know who you are, picking one with Chris Bull. Second it acctually helps if you can bind for a scrum properly...and execute a scrum properly...in fact, fking hell it helps if you can acctually play rugby to some megar extent. Hmmmm...what else can i say...oh yeah, also if your ganna call us "public school ponses", ffs, you should at least win the game you "goites". My, my, my talking the talk but not walking the walk...a text book case...of wanker syndrome. Enough of Hols-wanker-y School for benders. Lets talk buissness, oh my god, i havent even had an e-mail about my drum...the impatience builds. Well seeing as my contents running a little thin because, tbh, apart from the rugby match shit all has gone down, so instead catch a flight over to Buzznia for some zany pictures to fill up the rest of your bloggage time.
Cheerz